Estate Executor

Dear Dr. Per Cap: 

My dad asked me to be the executor of his estate when he passes on.  I have no idea what all that will entail.  Can you explain the role?

Signed, 

Daddy’s Girl

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Dear Daddy’s Girl,

An executor is a person listed in a will who will manage and settle a person’s financial affairs after their passing.  It’s a legal role with authority and responsibilities such as paying off a deceased person’s debts and taxes; distributing assets like a home, vehicles, or land to heirs; closing out bank and investment accounts, and various other tasks.  The fact your dad wants you as his executor speaks volumes about how much he trusts you and values your integrity.

I spoke with someone recently who is the executor of her late grandmother’s will. She expressed the importance of being organized, keeping mindful of deadlines, and remaining patient throughout the process.

The first step is to talk with your loved one beforehand about their wishes.  What type of memorial service they want, how to distribute belongings and personal effects not listed in the will, and other final requests.  As an executor there is power and agency in representing a person in this way.  

When the person passes there will be a large number of documents and records to manage. My friend advised using a large 3-ring binder or expandable file folder because even in today’s digital world, you’ll still need to provide hard copy records when required by the court. 

Moreover, find large document holders for more specialized records which require originals, like a death certificate which is longer than standard legal paper.  She also recommended obtaining ten original copies of the death certificate because it will need to be provided to multiple places.  Plastic page protectors are also useful along with post it notes for labeling.  Interestingly, she chose bright cheery colors for these materials to honor her grandmother’s kind and loving nature. 

It’s also important to save all receipts for expenses.  For example, she had to have some repairs made to her grandmother’s vehicle before it could be sold as part of the estate.  

Appointments and deadlines are ongoing throughout the estate process. Court clerks might be booked up for estates, so be sure to make an appointment as soon as the death certificate is available.  Every tribal nation handles estates differently so learn your tribal estate requirements from the tribal court.  Each state also has different requirements so make sure the court will provide guidance when needed.

Another challenge an executor faces is having to handle all of this business while still dealing with the emotional grief and pain of losing a loved one.  Therefore, be mindful of your own needs and self-care throughout the process.  Also understand that the loss of a family member can create stress and conflicts among remaining family and heirs so don’t hesitate to establish healthy boundaries when needed.

And lastly, honor your loved one’s journey.